Mums come to me for support with their juggling and balancing act – otherwise known as motherhood. They are always reassured to know that they are not alone in their desire to be in a better mental and emotional shape to respond to the daily physical and emotional needs of the family. As every mum knows, motherhood brings love, joy, exhaustion, stress and everything in between.
Our children keep us in the ‘here and now’ more than any mindfulness course I have ever attended. Mindfulness is present moment awareness without judgment. Our kids’ needs are so present it is difficult to be anywhere else but in the moment with them. And that is as close to the definition of mindfulness as we will find.
The challenge we often have is that our JUDGE then shows up. Our inner critic, if let loose can undermine our good mothering, it can shift our focus from what we are doing well to what is not going well. This distorts our view of ourselves. It can magnify flaws and diminish our achievements and successes.
So on Mother’s Day, as a gift to yourself, take some time to think of those things you enjoy that fill your emotional tank, and do something purposeful to sustain yourself.
My Invitation to you is this –
Grab a pen and paper, and write down two headings –
- Appreciation of Self; and
- Take ten minutes to appreciate yourself, acknowledge all that you do. Go beyond your surface thoughts and silence the inner critic if it shows up. Recognise that you are doing the best you can and we all are learning as we go. Give yourself permission to feel really good about how you do as a mum. Write it all down.
- Next, think about the things that you are grateful for as a mother. What are you innate gifts as a mother? What are the things that you will hold in your heart long after the kids have left home? Write them down too.
My mother-in-law often reminded me that our children aren’t really ours. We don’t own them. Rather, we have them on loan for a time during which our job is to raise them to head out confidently into the world. To be, do and have an even richer life than the lives we have. Of course, our hopes and aspirations for our children are real and at times feel all encompassing. But don’t lose sight of yourself in the process. Take action today and claim more than one day a year to reflect on how well you are doing. And if you need some help to do that – just ask !
Happy Mother’s Day !